a bummer
by Mark Peters


If we're successful, I'll grow old.
If we lose, I'll just grow old. Speaking of libraries,
I will work hard
to be your brother. She's Irish. The Russian women don't understand
prestige and sumptuousness on the downward
slope of a giant Emmy-caliber episode just waiting to be found.
I'm not in their league socially, but
it's anyone's guess if Mom is a military power.
I have no idea, should I? Yeeps! Apparently
shipping clerks are finally taking control of their lives,
would you
like me to lie? Your screenplay is ridiculous! Nothing to do
but read old magazines and charm the pants off the jury,
and worry.
To some, gentle family values were a responsibility.
To others, that ongoing hostage situation
needs a girlfriend, but not me!
Ok ok,
do you want to know the difference between a stalagmite
and a stalactite? (Another of the questions
men are afraid to ask
each other.) I can't be sure without more tests. That was just
a bummer of a
minor injury. That's one opinion.
Displaying remarkable restraint and uncommon sports-
manship, I'll get the men's room fixed this week.
That's pretty fortunate for Phil.


Contents

May 1999