Where's the beef?
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
Does God exist?
How can world peace be achieved?
How can world hunger be eliminated?
How does Danny get hurt?
Do we really have free will?
What is poetry?
Where's the beef?
What is the meaning of life?
What do lobsters want?
Why?
Why don't animals use language?
Why do animals fart?
Why do people fart?
Where are the good men?
Where are the good women?
Out where?
What do they eat there?
Where can I find my car keys?
What is the purpose of government?
Who is the Pope?
When was Jesus born?
At what time?
What is Jesus doing now?
What are bugs good for?
What kind of bugs?
Who is Confucious?
What's a catastrophe?
What's the most valuable thing in the world?
What did Elvis say?
What did Miles Davis say?
What did John Coltrane say?
What does Kelly Mitchell say?
Why did you eat the toothpaste?
Why did you eat the toothpaste?
What's the best toothpaste?
How do you make a salad?
How do you make soup?
How do you make shaving cream?
How can I become enlightened?
How can I find peace?
What is philosophy?
What is anthropology?
What is astronomy?
What is sociology?
What is religion?
What is art?
What is noble?
What is spiritual?
What was the first crime?
What happened in Beirut?
What do Dads do?
What do Moms do?
What do children do?
What do grandparents do?
Is language an instinct?
Is the Pope Catholic?
What is it like to be a bat?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Why is there art?
What is truth?
Who is Moses?
What is real?
What's important?
What is ethics?
What is morality?
What's a good name for a boy?
What's a good name for a girl?
Where can I find salvation?
What is opera?
What is theatre?
What is poetry?
What is school for?
What does sand taste like?
What does music sound like?
Do you like music?
Why?
What does trust mean?
Why do people fight?
Why do people kiss?
What is good?
What is bad?
Do aliens exist?
What do they do?
Where do pickles come from?
Are pickles moral?
What is moral?
What is math for?
What's a pickle for?
What's broken?
Why?
Does God exist?
How do you feel?
How do you feel besides mad?
How else do you feel?
Write five more ways you feel--
One more--
Anything else?
Why do you feel unseen?
What's in the air?
What's on your mind?
What kind of Saturday will it be?
What kind of Sunday?
Monday?
Tuesday?
Wednesday?
Thursday?
Friday?
What has been the best moment of your life?
Write anything--
What do heroes do?
What do villains do?
What does Jack Anthony do?
What does Kathy Hennig say?
What did Beethoven do?
What did Babe Ruth do?
Who will be the first woman President?
Who is Theresa?
What is true beauty?
Where can I find inner peace and serenity?
How can I get good luck?
Why do people lie?
What is life?
What is death?
What are giraffes?
What's a good idea?
What about religion?
Who?
Do you like wigs?
What should I do with my life?
How long is eternity?
What do you hear?
What do you smell?
What do you see?
Who is your hero?
What does Wonder Woman do?
What does "go up" mean?
What did Aristotle do?
What did Mr. Spock do?
What did Abraham Lincoln do?
What did Richard Nixon do?
What did Emily Dickinson do?
What did Bach do?
What did Frank Sinatra do?
What did Susan B. Anthony do?
What did Eleanor Roosevelt do?
What did Jimi Hendrix do?
What will Judy do in North Carolina?
What do boys do?
What do nurses do?
Why is there disease?
How do you make root beer?
How do you make water?
How do you make eggs?
How do you make chocolate chips?
How do you fly a plane?
How do you grow a wing?
How many kinds of intelligence are there?
What's the difference between speech and writing?
What's the difference between music and noise?
Why are boys annoying?
What's the perfect job?
What smells good?
What smells bad?
Where's China?
Where's London?
Where's Houston?
Where's Dallas?
Where's out?
How do you feel?
What do big pine cones do?
What should I do to become happy?
What do turkeys think about?
What do deer think about?
What do geese think about?
What do rats think about?
Fixing what?
Is your life fulfilling?
What makes a life fulfilling?
Why?
Who's sad?
Why?
Where's the beach?
What do flowers think about?
What do fish think about?
What do congressmen think about?
What do Presidents think about?
What do cops think about?
What do artists think about?
What do aliens think about?
What do doctors think about?
What do dentists think about?
What do priests think about?
What do children think about?
What do chickens eat?
Whose legs?
What's your favorite leg?
Is communism dead?
What do cops love?
What do aliens love?
What does love smell like?
What do you do behind a haystack?
What do you do in the laundry room?
Write 5 ways you feel--
How can I help you feel better?
What's your favorite place?
Why?
Write a poem--
What do you learn at school?
What's the meaning of life?
What is the soul?
What is sin?
Where's the beef?
What's your mom like?
Why like Theresa?
What's your dad like?
What's a fun job?
Are you happy?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What does an industrial hygienist do?
What's in your mouth?
What else is in your mouth?
Where did you get the gum?
What do poets do?
What does coffee do?
What do monkeys do?
What do psychologists do?
What is work?
What is ideology?
What is power?
What is wisdom?
What is clarity?
What is perfect?
What is flawed?
What is funny?
What's happening?
Where's the beef?
Am I living my life correctly?
What do I really need?
Does God exist?
What happens after we die?
Who lives in the mountains?
Who lives on a farm?
What should I forget?
What should I remember?
How do you hit a home run?
How do you hit 2 home runs?
How do you make 7 home runs?
What's on the moon?
What's in the Grand Canyon?
What's in the ocean?
Who invented pine cones?
Why do pine cones exist?
How did the pine cones get broken?
Why not?
Where did the pine cones go?
Do you know when I'll die?
How many children will I have?
How many grandchildren will I have?
How many times will I get married?
Who will I marry?
When will I get married?
What is the secret to the universe?
Who invented farting?
Who invented spaceships?
Who invented the toilet?
Who invented oatmeal?
Who invented goulash?
Why are Morgan's eyes blue?
What do you see?
What is news?
Why does the sun set?
Why does the sun rise?
Where do babies come from?
Where do uncles come from?
Where do aunts come from?
Where do Martians come from?
What do aliens look like?
What do angels look like?
What do boys smell like?
Should soup be illegal?
Does God exist?
Nature or nurture?
Where's the beef?
Who made the universe?
Who invented toast?
Who invented math?
Who invented the calendar?
What did Shakespeare do?
What did Mozart do?
What did Einstein do?
What did Picasso do?
What is red dye?
What do you dream about?
Why is there death?
What is love for?
What do you yearn for?
What's worth thinking about?
What do parakeets say?
What do teachers say?
Why does Chris wear a hat?
Why does Eric fart?
Why did the dinosaurs die?
What is language?
Where's the beef?
What is hell?
What's in a name?
What's in the Bible?
What is true love?
What is happiness?
When did time begin?
How old is the oldest person?
What's the opposite of pain?
What do you mean?
Why?
Why?
Who is the Buddha?
What music do you like?
Why?
How will it all end?
How?
How?
Do you want more juice?
What does unpredictable mean?
What isn't wanted?
What isn't locked?
What doors?
How much is too much?
How little is too little?
Why are we here on this planet?
Where did the universe come from?
Which is better: toast or danish?
What is toast?
Who is Plato?
Who is Jesus?
What does God say?
What's the meaning of Christmas?
What do you need?
What is philosophy?
Why is there war?
What is heaven?
How long will the world last?
back to Mark Peters author page
May 1999
In the basement
43
People
Globe
Hot cakes and sausage
Maybe
No
21 numbers
In the counselor's room
Hitting
Mustard
They eat hot dogs
They fart
Because they poop in the woods
They stink
In San Diego
Out
Out to Burger King
Hamburgers
In the car
News
Jesus Christ
May 21st 1976
At 8:05 PM
Hugging
Eating
Little bugs
Ron Carey is Confucious
24 catastrophes
Hitting people in the world
Eight is enough
Stop it
Stop that
You were eating toothpaste
Fresh and minty breath
Because it is not good to eat
Colgate tartar control with baking soda and whitening
You make it with a tomato
You make it with turkey
You eat it
Ch. 2
Inside
Stinky
Bees
Robot
Mr. Horn
Comfort my people
Paint
Running
Dan Rather
Beirut
They all fell down
Fall down
Cry
Hit
Run
No
No
OK
Noisy
Newspapers
The Price is Right
The People's Court
Real people
Masturbating
Games
Game shows
Tom
Leeza
In the army
Name that tune
Life stinks
School
Jumping
Like A&W Root Beer
Bits n pieces
Yes
Are you screaming?
Trivial Pursuit
They will be sad
They will be good
Baseball is good for you
Sand is bad for you
Yes
Eat pickles
Las Vegas
No
PM Magazine is moral
Writing 25 + 10 = 75
Broken
The flowers are broken
Are you so sad?
No or yes
Mad about the noise at Cradle Beach Camp in the dining hall today
at 1:09 pm on Thursday
August 25th 1994
Scared
Lonely
Sad mad scared and happy
Bored
Unseen
Because of the noise of the smoke alarm going off
Barney Miller is in the air
Tic Tac Dough and The Joker's Wild are on your mind
Super
Sick
M*A*S*H
Top Ten
Wonderful
Thunderous
Fun
Cone heads
Unlocked
Jump up in the air and go down
See the Joker's Wild on Chan. 4 at 2:00 on Tues Aug 4th 1988
Had little pine cones
Glue paste paint paper and play dough
Spilled some mud on the dog's blanket
Hit
Jane Pauley
Fonzie
Number 76
In 1997
Say bye bye
They are sad
The Greatest American Hero
Barney Miller
Boys
Corn flakes are a good idea
He will give you a call
David Joseph DeSimone
Maybe
See Jane Pauley
25 years
Smoke alarm noises
Moldy pumpkins
Newscenter 2
Wonder Woman
Go up
Up up and up
He went up
Run away and hit himself on the head
Oopshlopped
Threw up
Gargled
Ate some soap
Saw E Entertainment Television
Made a poop in the potty
Woke up in the morning
Went to sleep at night
Go away
Hit
Hurt
Because ice cream is a disease
You make root beer and mouthwash by making mint root beer
You make water toothpaste coffee and mouthwash and you drink it
You make eggs chocolate chips flour salt and sugar and you eat it
You make chocolate chips sugar salt and mint extract and you eat it all
up
You fly a plane with 15 wings
You grow a wing with 27 planes
76
Letters
The smoke alarm
Boys are not happy
Have breakfast
Hot dogs smell good
Twinkies smell bad
In London
In Houston
In Dallas
Out
Outta here
Scared about the big pine cones at 1:42 a.m. tonight
Scare you and go away at 3:42 a.m. tonight
To tell the truth
Chickens
Peeing
Nancy Glass
Fixing it
The radiator register
No
Boxing
Are you so sad?
Brendan is sad
Because I want to go on the beach
On the sand
Fish
Fishing
Presidents
Maxwell Robinson
Cutting themselves from the knife
Walking
Smiling
Blood
Toothpaste
Hitting
Throwing up in the bucket
Legs
Mr. Larrrabee's legs
Left leg
Yes
Mom
Dad
Feet
Run
Drink laundry soap and oopshlop
Mad scared sad angry frightened
Bowling
Denny's
Because I can go for dinner at 5:52 pm in the afternoon
Are we going to tease people at school?
Math books and lying down
Punching
Noises
Guilty
In the movie channel
Like Theresa
Because she is good
Ron Howard
August 23rd is a fun job
Absolutely
Industrial hygienist
Read newspapers
Teeth
Gum
Under the table
Drink coffee
Drink your stomach
Jump up and down
Go do work
2 + 5 = 7
Songs
25
Hands
Charmed
Money
Wings
What's happening
Nothing's happening
At McDonald's
Yes
Hot chocolate
No
We throw up
Mommy
Mom
Mustard
Ketchup
By hitting 2 home runs
You make 7 home runs
You get 10 home runs
Circles
Salt
Big pine cones
Scott Brown invented pine cones in 1952
They are broken
They won't get fixed
Because there are no pine cones here
Out
No
27
91
20 times
Mommy
In 2000
Signs
Eric Johnson
Mom
Ron Carey
Chainsaw
Morgan
Because I need my eyes to see
News
Newscenter 2
Because it is sad
Because it is sad
Tacoma
Seattle
London
Barbour / Langley Productions Inc.
Poop
Boys
Poop
Yes
Unwanted
Nature
In 1974
Abe Vigoda made the universe in 1994
Wink Martindale invented toast in 1976
Wink Martindale invented math in 1992
Jack Anthony made the calendar on Saturday August 19th 1995
He played Jeremiah was a Bullfrog in 1925
Sang Monday Monday
Played Monday Monday on the radio in 1982
Drink red dye
Bad
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Hitting
Falling
Cheep cheep
No hitting
It is good to wear a hat
Cause he stinks and he wants to take a shower
Because they oopshlopped
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
On HBO
Hurting kicking and boxing
Juices
The Greatest American Hero books are in the Bible on page 84
Hurting
Fonzie
In 1976
11
What the hell?
I hate you
I like you
What the heck
Ron Howard
Noises
Are you screaming?
In 1962
Cause it's all gone in 1962
Cause it's so sad in 1962
Unpredictable
Not wanted
Not locked
Opened the doors
Locked up
97
19
Thursday
The map
Toast
Burnt
A man
Superman
Hi
Bigger pine cones
Kiss and a squeeze
Falling down
In heaven
Waiting
92 minutes